Hunk-A-Lot Hump Day: Mark Steines

U.S. Swimmer Shoots For The Moon

From Huffington Post:

US Swimmer and Beijing relay gold medalist Ricky Berens tore the back of his swimsuit in a qualifying heat of the 4x100m relay freestyle on Sunday during the World Swimming Championships in Rome. Shortly before stepping up to the starting block, the University of Texas senior leaned down to stretch and his suit tore.

"I kind of freaked out for just a second," Berens said. "I felt like [the hole] was almost down to my knees. I felt like I was putting on a pretty good show."

He did. And the US qualified for finals and won.

Rolling Back The Years

The Orkin Exterminator man came by yesterday. The story of Terry is an interesting one.

When I first arrived here full time over four years ago, Mom had several services in place.

• Paula, a gal across the street, had been cleaning house for over 25 years. Although I've since told her I didn't need her for the house anymore, we go way back to the time before I moved so we still chat and go on exercise walks together.

• There is the TruGreen lawn care man who comes to fertilize the grass and make sure there are no pests. We get grubs here that munch at the roots of the grass and kill it. They are the larvae stage of Japanese beetles and can devastate a lawn.

• We have the older couple that have mowed the lawn since I left. I've kept them on, too, since my brother took my Mom's lawnmower somewhere along the way. Honestly, if I'm going to do yard work, I'd rather spend it in the gardens planting flowers.

• Then there's Terry the Orkin man. We've had carpenter ants here in the house since I was little. At some point, Mom hired Orkin Exterminators to come in and finally get rid of them. They're gone, but we've kept Terry on because we don't want them back. Turns out that Terry is the son of my Mom's best friend when they were growing up. She and Iva would have sleep overs all the time, go swimming in the river, etc. Of all the things that Mom has forgotten, she'd remember Iva when Terry showed up. (She thinks Terry is her husband, though, and not her son.) She'd send her best and ask him to have Iva stop by to visit. He would but they are a half hour away and too much for Iva to make the trip. But, the good news, is that she is five minutes from the assisted living center and Terry told me that Iva intends to stop by and see Mom.

Now, more about Terry. I'm openly gay but I don't tell everyone about it that walks through the door. I went through that stage back in the 90's. And, I suspect, that Terry is the same way. He's been married (to a lesbian) and has four adopted kids. A situation where no one would question his sexuality. Until, that is, I spotted an Equal Sign logo sticker from the Human Rights Campaign on his clipboard. (Turns out, he made sure I saw it!)

Terry and I are now out to each other and have grand conversations when he comes over. No sexual tension between us...he's 15 years older than me and likes young Asian men.

Anyway, to the point of my story, he told me that I have lost 5 years off the look of my face since the last time he saw me. He can tell that the stress is melting away. I'm still a bit on the nervous side, and would probably be a total mess without the new script of Pristiq, but it was nice to get a compliment and know that others are noticing a change.

Hunk-A-Lot Hump Day: Gerard Butler

Lunar Landing — Where Were You?

Watching the lunar landing is one of my earliest memories. Hard to believe it was 40 years ago today!

I was 5 years old, going on 6, and my whole family was watching the large television in the den.

"Come here, come here," they all shouted to me. "This is something you'll remember for the rest of your life!"

I ran out and sat about 3 feet in front of the set and watched as the craft descended and the surface of the moon got closer and closer. It was like they were slowly floating downward.

When they touched down, my family cheered!

This is one of those moments that people remember where they were when it happened. Where were you?

Governor Sanford: Yum and Yuck

I've always found Governor Sanford to be physically attractive. Even before the scandal. Even with the comb over. Now that he's spreading his seed worldwide, it only makes him more virile.

Yes, yes, yes, I know he hates me without even meeting me and would do everything he could to make sure I burn eternally in his hell. That's why I specifically said physically. In this case, beauty really is only skin deep.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, still clinging to office after admitting to an extramarital affair, wrote in an opinion piece released Sunday that God will change him so he can emerge from the scandal a more humble and effective leader.

Sanford, a two-term Republican, returned from a mysterious, nearly weeklong disappearance last month to reveal a romance with a longtime friend in Argentina. He described the woman as his "soul mate" but said he would work to repair his relationship with his wife.

In the opinion, Sanford vows to work with lawmakers he's long fought and cites scripture and his faith in God — just as he's done in his few public appearances since admitting the affair.

Ah, the convenience of religion. All I have to do is repent to my god and all is forgiven. Yet, when you do something, you are afforded no such forgiveness. Do as I say, not as I do.

It's wrong of me, I know, to hope his marriage fails. Only because he's so self-righteous on the subject of what marriage is, between whom, and how it's all supposed to work. He's experiencing some of the misery he's caused thousands of others through his political views.

Whoops! Online Sales Error

I've been selling my mother's VHS tapes and CDs on Amazon since December. When you buy something on Amazon, there is a button you can choose for 'New and Used' that are sold by individuals and small businesses, and that's where these appear. Every week, I put a bunch more on, and I'm up to 175 items.

I started with the VHS tapes that were brand new and still in the shrink wrap. Last weekend, I'd made it down to the CDs that were opened but still in excellent condition. I have about 25 opened VHS tapes that are yet to be offered. In reality, most of these opened items will sell better at a garage sale but this is a good avenue until then.

On one of the listings, I selected the DVD version rather than the CD. It sold yesterday and I had to go back to the buyer and apologize for the error. I immediately refunded his money and sent an email to explain and say I was sorry.

I'm hoping he doesn't ding me with a negative feedback rating.

I've Got (Cheap) Gas

Our local grocery store chain Price Chopper has started a new discount gas program in partnership with Sunoco.

It's all turn-key with their existing rewards/discount AdvantEdge cards. For every $50 you spend on groceries, it automatically credits your AdvantEdge card with a 10¢ discount per gallon of gas. You can accumulate as large a discount as you spend on groceries (the discounts expire after a month on a rolling basis) and it is good for up to 20 gallons.

When you go to the gas station, you slide your AdvantEdge card in first. The discounted price then appears in the windows at the pump. You put in your credit card, pick your grade, pump the gas, and go. Yesterday, the price was $2.63/gallon and I paid $2.13/gallon with a 50¢ discount. All I had to do was go to a Sunoco station (some of the cheapest in the area, BTW) and put my card in.

Fabulous!

Hunk-A-Lot Hump Day: John Oliver

City of Angels To Pay For Jackson's Funeral Security

I couldn't agree more:

Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is trying to quell the escalating debate over who should pick up the estimated $1.4 million tab for police, traffic control and other services related to Michael Jackson's memorial service.

Villaraigosa, who was vacationing in South Africa a week ago when more than 17,000 fans flocked to downtown Los Angeles to watch the public memorial, asserted Monday that the city will pay. He said he will not ask the Jackson family or AEG Live, the owner of the Staples Center where the event was held, to help the city recoup its expenses, and he lambasted a city Web site set up to request donations.

"This is a world-class city, and we provide fire and police protection, period," Villaraigosa said during his first public appearance since returning from his weeklong trip. "The idea that we would charge the family for a funeral is nonsensical.

How much revenue did he generate for the city and state? Probably billions! His income and property taxes. Taxes on show tickets. The jobs he created in the entertainment industry and all of their income taxes. Hell, just the sales taxes collected on the Thriller CDs alone!

Pearls In The Necklace Of Life #10

A reminder to be good to one another:

"A rising tide raises all boats."

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Did you ever notice the pearls of wisdom that can be found on sign boards? Whether it's in front of a restaurant, church, or even a fire house, there are some clever folks out there that can turn a phrase and impart life lessons. I'll keep you posted on the best ones I see.

Saturday Sh!ts & Giggles: Do You Want A Pony?

I'm not sure if these ads are running nationally or not. The little girl is priceless!

I'm Going To Scream...

...if one more person calls that child "Blanket." I mean, he's Prince Michael Jackson II. It's not his fault his dumbass father named him the same as the first son. A little George Foreman-esque, don't ya think? But you never hear any of the Foreman boys called Blanket. Or Towel. Or Crockpot.

Can you imagine the damage to the kid's self esteem? "Hi, this is Prince. This is Paris. And this is, ummmm, Blanket."

And what about Debbie Rowe? "Oh, I'll take the first two because I was their birth vessel, but that other one isn't mine. Throw his ass on the laundry heap of life." Ugh.

What kills me is that they all say it with a straight face! Get Brooke Shields up there yakking about crescent moons and shit, then goes on about Blanket.

I have to keep telling myself, "Yes, indeed, everyone except me may just be crazy."

BTW, could Paris have been any more wonderful? So sweet.

Hunk-A-Lot Hump Day: Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Review: 9 to 5: The Musical

Three words: Loved. This. Show.

If you've seen the movie, then you already know the plot of 9 to 5: The Musical. The story stays pretty true, except how they tie things up at the end, and all of the most recognizable lines in the film have been preserved here in the play's dialogue.

I don't think I can say enough wonderful things about the new songs penned by Dolly Parton. The show starts off with the familiar 9 to 5, and then it is an all new score of 18 songs from there. I was a little leery, but each song was really good on its own and did a great job of sticking to the story and moving it forward. The melodies are catchy and lyrics witty.

Alison Janny, who plays the role of Violet originated by Lily Tomlin, is the headliner and star. Her singing skills are a bit lacking, more of talking in tune with the music rather than singing, but the ensemble frequently joins in and gives her ample cover.

Megan Hilty, a veteran of Wicked in the role of Glenda, plays the role originated by Dolly Parton to the hilt. She's got the southern twang down and adds her own spin that gets the audience laughing.

I'm going to call out Jeremy Davis from the ensemble. In a non-speaking role, he always looked like he was playing to the audience and having the time of his life up there performing on stage. I found myself watching him during the clever song and dance segues between scenes.

My main criticism is going to seem a bit sophomoric — Marc Kudisch, who plays the part of Mr. Hart orginated by Dabney Coleman, is extremely bow legged! I mean, distractingly bow legged. That's all I have to say about that.

I highly recommend the show for a fantastic night on the town. Ticket prices have gone up in the past year with best seats going for $127 of which I paid $78 (40% off + commission) at the TKTS booth.

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The show is playing at the Marquis Theatre on the mezzanine level of the Marriott Marquis Hotel located at Broadway and 45th. The theater is deceptively big, seating almost 1,600 patrons, but seems quite a bit smaller. All seats are pretty close to the stage with minimal sight line issues only for those in seats on the far left and right aisles.

The theatre was built in 1986. I saw The Drowsy Chaperone there in 2007 and went there in 1993 to see Broadway star Bernadette Peters and Martin Short in The Goodbye Girl. It's nice and clean with easy and quick access.

God's Love We Deliver

If you watched Celebrity Apprentice last season, you know that Joan Rivers played for her charity God's Love We Deliver. They are like a Meals on Wheels and have just celebrated their 10,000,000th meal!

This is their HQ at the corner of 6th Avenue and Spring Street.

Bandwidth Issues

I just received my second notice that I'm nearly out of bandwidth for my company's web service. That's due to the cardinal pic that was in the background which I post and serve up from that other site. Last week, this blog had a day that approached 1,500 hits and I'm up to about 500/day on average and the cardinal is killing me!

While I think of a better solution, I've dropped the photo and put in a solid background to keep from incurring additional costs.

Hunk-A-Lot Hump Day: Rob Estes