My New Best Friend — Meet Mary Jane

No, it ain't what you think. Well, maybe it's whatcha think. Okay, yes, it's Halloween time and every type of confection has been strategically placed on store shelves to tempt the dispensers of candy to little ghosts and goblins. This treat is a trick of unspeakable magnitude!

Mary Jane has reared her delicious little molasses and peanut butter head in bags of delectable bite-size chews. Watch out for her, my friends, as she is as unresistable as a siren of the seas. She is a gateway drug that leads you down a road of impulsive obsession whose end can only be described as mountains of chocolate and rivers of caramel.

Nothing good shall ever come of us, she and I. Yet I realize every day that goes by only intensifies our relationship. Alas, my heart sinks as I know she'll be gone soon, disappearing into the brisk autumn night under the purple-hued light cast upon us by a haunting harvest moon. My only ray of light is the knowledge that she'll return again in another year to tempt my very being.