Speak To Me, Oh Urinal Cake

New Mexico is hoping to keep drunks off the road by lecturing them at the last place they usually stop before getting behind the wheel: the urinal.

The state recently bought 500 talking urinal-deodorizer cakes and put them in men's rooms in bars and restaurants. When a man steps up, the motion-sensitive plastic device says, in a woman's voice that is flirty, then stern: "Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it's time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home. Remember, your future is in your hand."

New Mexico had 143 alcohol-related deaths in 2005, the country's eighth-highest rate. The urinal cakes have proved so intriguing that three have been swiped already.

Let me suggest some things I'd love to hear from a urinal:

• Since when do they allow horses in here?
• Happy Birthday to me!
• Nice package big daddy.
• Careful, the water is cold down here...and deep too!
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