Wednesday, November 21, 2007

In Pursuit Of A Unicorn

It was 11:45 a.m. and I was on the couch in the den. Something walking in the field behind the house caught my eye.

At first I thought it was a donkey! I have a history of seeing things that aren't there...I chalk it up to my active creative mind. Some day I'll write about the dead kangaroo I "saw" in the center median of a CA freeway that had been hit. Or the person I "saw" walking a turkey on a leash. Or the nun I "saw" in Hollywood that turned out to be a pay phone. Honestly, no alcohol or drugs were involved and the nun wasn't a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence. (Making the story even funnier, my buddy T that I posted about a couple of weeks ago teased me relentlessly about the nun until he saw it one night himself without my prompting.)

Back to the thing walking around out back.

Why a donkey, you ask? I've been watching a lot of TV Land lately. I mean A LOT. On the weekends, they run Gunsmoke and Bonanza and I always thought that Festus' horse looks like a donkey. So I got ass on my mind. And I think Festus is kinda hot. Is that so wrong?

Okay, it wasn't a donkey. Then I think, it's a goat. Why a goat, you ask? This thing isn't as big as a donkey and it has some crazy coloring. Over the summer, a goat had escaped from a local farm and it was sighted all around our area. I never saw him, but my brother saw the stupid thing crossing the highway one day. My neighbor also saw it and thought it was a huge feral dog.

Okay, it wasn't a goat. It had a really unusual coat that looked like a pair of blue jeans that had been splattered with pure bleach. From its front legs on back, it was splashed with white. Very odd, indeed.

By the time I got the camera and raced to the window, he was out of sight. But I saw other deer running a short time later and he was in hot pursuit. So it's a stag looking for action. I guess he's got ass on his mind, too. He better watch himself or he'll have a bullet on his mind since deer season opened over the weekend.

He is so unique, like a unicorn. I am going to be vigilant with my camera to see if I can catch him.


Tater said...

Gavin, the meds aren't optional, or pick and choose like a sweater color. :)

michael sean morris said...

I have this same condition. I once thought I saw the neighbour's dog sleeping at the foot of our stairs. Turned out it was a pile of laundry.

One other time I was sure the guy I was dating was really nice, but he turned out to be a demon. Or is that something different?

I must say I never met anyone with a Festus fetish. Maybe I'll send you a couple of Walter Brennan movies for Christmas, you perv.