Happy Valentine's Day

I suppose I should wish you all a wonderful Valentine's Day. I feel very fortunate for the friends and daily readers I've made through this blog and I sincerely hope today finds you in a good personal space, whether you are partnered or single.

There have been a lot of posts over the past week regarding this day: Some love it, some hate it, others don't much care.

I fall into the category of not caring, which is how I feel on other holidays, too. Maybe it's a callous I've built up over those feelings from being single for so long. I've also learned that being single is better than being in a crappy relationship.

If I were to receive something then I'd feel good, and if I have someone special in my life, I make sure to do something special for them so they know it. I don't go in for all the capitalism like $100 for a dozen roses, but an orchid with a card and hand written note from the heart is entirely appropriate. And if there isn't anyone special in my life then I don't much care one way or the other.

Valentine's Day can be the canary in the mine for a relationship. My last partner, whom I was with for 4 years, didn't give me a gift or card on Valentine's Day for two of those four years and he never acknowledged the efforts that I made. When I asked, the response was, "Well I don't know if I love you." Gee, thanks. I should have ditched his sorry ass then and there because that bird was dead. D-E-D dead.

Instead, I rationalized that because we weren't getting along then he was being honest and to do something against his true feelings would make him hypocritical. And if there's anything worse than a passive-aggressive partner, it's a hypocrite.

This is the same guy who, now nearly three years later, called out of the blue about a month ago and left a voice message that he thinks of me often. Yep, I wonder how the new partner would feel if he knew that was going on. The grass only looks greener. Bitch.

If you're wondering, no I didn't call him back. I'm good that way. Once you're gone, you're gone. I may think of you, I may pine over you, I may have regrets, but I'll never call you. Besides, he was a crappy partner (for me, anyway), and is not what I consider friendship material.

See, if you love someone, you can have fights and disagreements but you still love each other. I want to be loved unconditionally. I don't want to miss out on a Valentine's Day card because I left dirty dishes in the sink last night.