TV Monday On Tuesday: Dancing With The Stars

This isn't necessarily my favorite but we watch it here because it's a another good general entertainment show that doesn't require thinking — that makes it good for mother dear since she can't follow the plots on regular shows. Now that I mention it, I have enough trouble following Lost myself!

Here's a quick run down of the contestants and their dance partners. I'll wait until most of the field has been eliminated before I do more posts.

The Men
Adam Carolla — Julianne Hough
• One of the most talentless television personalities ever. Ever! There isn't a single redeeming quality about him. Who's the dope who pays this guy?

Cristian de la Fuente — Cheryl Burke
• I don't know who he is and I don't care.

Steve Guttenberg — Anna Trebunskaya
• Still a stud after all these years.

Mario — Karina Smirnoff
• If you go by one name, you better be big enough so that everyone knows who the eff you are. Remember what happened to Jackee? I didn't think so.

Penn Jillette — Kym Johnson
• The single, biggest asshole to ever take a stage. I cannot stand him. How he has ever made it in the entertainment biz is a riddle more difficult than that of the sphinx. He's not funny. He's not engaging. His magic is boring. He needs to put that creepy silent sidekick he pals around to sleep and then turn the needle on himself.

Jason Taylor — Edyta Sliwinska
• Again, who? They pulled out all the stops this season when they were looking for obscure people.

The Women
Shannon Elizabeth — Derek Hough
• I like her. I don't know her from acting, but she's a big time poker player and I've seen her on tournaments. She's quite good. Speaking of which, Bravo needs to bring back Celebrity Poker Showdown.

Marlee Matlin — Fabian Sanchez
• She bugs me. It will be interesting to see how a deaf person manages in a dancing competition.

Priscilla Presley — Louis Van Amstel
• Oh. My. God. I just heard on the news this morning that she is suing her cosmetic surgeon for a botched job. Uh, duh! Honestly, she looks like a vampire. I keep expecting her to bite her partner on the neck and suck out his soul, go back and regurgitate it at the celebrity room at the Scientology center in West Hollywood, so that LeStat Tom Cruise can suck it up and increase his non-human power.

Monica Seles — Jonathan Roberts
• Loved her as a tennis player but she looks completely different. She looks like Celine Dion now.

Marissa Jaret Winokur — Tony Dovolani
• What a bundle of energy! I guess I'm partial to Broadway stars.

Kristi Yamaguchi — Mark Ballas
• Probably my favorite of the season. She's one of my all-time favorite ladies skaters and her dance partner is incredibly handsome. BTW, did you know she started out her skating career in pairs competition? Her partner at the time was Rudy Galindo.

That's it, unless they pull a colossal boner that requires further exposure.
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