There's this blonde out for a walk. Upon coming to a river, another blonde is spotted on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo! How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
An attractive young brunette went to the doctor's office and complained of pain wherever anything touched her body.
"Impossible!" said the doctor. "Show me."
The brunette took a finger, pushed her left shoulder and screamed, then pushed her elbow and screamed even louder. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a brunette, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
A highway trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, the trooper was astounded to see that the redhead behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing the driver was oblivious to the flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down the window, turned on the bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO," the redhead yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
*
2 comments:
All of these jokes were originally blonde woman jokes. Last week and this (and probably next), I tried to be PC vary the hair color and to be non-gender specific. This week, the second joke just wouldn't work as anything other than a dumb blonde joke. To my blonde female readers, I did try!
Blondes who get offended by blonde jokes are just a tiny bit insecure I think.
Three third-graders - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead - decided to see whose penis was longer. Who do you think won? The blonde, but only because he was 16.
I'm still chuckling over last week's joke. I don't know how many times in the last few days I could just say "Potatoes!" to myself and laugh for half an hour. Thank you for that.
A Polish joke a friend of mine once told me was easily turned back on him:
Boyd walked into a deli, pointed at the largest salami in the place, and said "I'll take it!" The counter man asked, "Shall I slice it for you?" To which Boyd replied: "What do I look like, a piggy bank?"
Fortunately he was a screaming bottom. Still, it may have been in poor taste to tell it at his birthday party. It's probably a good thing I gave up the booze.
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