Friday, June 13, 2008

My Thumb Way Up (Sandler's Ass): You Don't Mess With The Zohan

Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider
Cameos: Arthur Fonzarelli (Happy Days), Mrs. Garrett (The Facts Of Life), Ernie Douglas (My Three Sons), The Mother (My Big Fat Greek Wedding), Sulu (Star Trek), Bruce Vilanch (Hollywood Squares), "Lllllleeeetttt's Get Ready To Rumble" Guy (Pro Boxing), King Of Queens (King Of Queens), Kevin Nealon (SNL), Robert Smigel (SNL), John McEnroe (Pro Tennis).

Those were the only losers I spotted although I'm sure there were plenty more. I hope they got a buttload of money for appearing in this piece of shit.

I was pretty sure this was going to be a disaster going in. After two minutes, I was definitely sure. Ever the optimist (not really, I'm a dedicated pessimist), I stayed hoping it would get better. It didn't.

What I Liked
• Nothing. I can't even say I liked the part where he kicks the guy in the face while standing directly in front of him because I'd already seen it in the trailer.

What I Didn't Like
• Everything.
• The gay "jokes" weren't even funny. Yes, we get it, "faygala" is a Jewish term for gay guy.

This movie was so bad I'm not even going to post the trailer. In fact, other than preventing you from possibly seeing this stinking pile of trash, writing this review is just an additional waste of precious moments. I lost $7 and 113 minutes of my life so you don't have was the first movie I have actually considered asking for my money back!

1 comment:

michael sean morris said...

I blame those tricky fuckers who make the trailers; I almost went to see this one based on the trailer alone. Also, I was probably high when I watched it, which makes even C-SPAN entertaining.

Normally I can't stand Adam Sandler, but he's obviously been working out and doesn't look half as doughy as usual and I almost fell for it.

Thanks for saving me!