Wish I'd Said That: Socialism

An anonymous commenter posted this on Yahoo! News regarding the GOP's plans to block all bills until the rich are rewarded with an extension of their tax cuts. Snarky and makes the point:

(1) If you live in subsidized housing, move. Into the street, if necessary. But not to a shelter. All shelters receive government support one way or another-either getting money directly from the government, using government-subsidized resources, or being subsidized via the tax code.

(2) If you're on food stamps, tear them up, throw them away, and don't get any more. Just starve. Food banks are a no-no, just like shelters. All non-profits are government subsidized through the tax code.

(3) If you're on Medicaid, or your children are on SCHIP, just say no! Pay out of pocket or get sick and die. Like the man said, "Give me liberty AND give me death!"

(4) If you are on Medicare, drop out. Refuse to use your Medicare card, and pay for all your medical expenses yourself. You can try to get medical insurance, of course. Good luck with that. Aside from supplemental Medicare coverage, you'll probably have to go to Switzerland, or something.

(5) Pull your kids out of school. Obviously, public schools are socialist. But so are charter schools that receive public money. And even purely private schools employ teachers who went to public school. Yes, I know it's shocking, but it's true! So, no school! It's socialist, through and through.

(6) Stay off the streets. Almost all streets, roads and highways in America are socialist. Private roads are incredibly rare, so unless you live on one, stay off the streets entirely. Besides, you can't buy gas without paying state and federal taxes.

(7) Stay off the sidewalks. They're just as socialist as the streets, if not moreso.

(8) Stop using municipal water. Municipal water is socialist. Use only commercial bottled water for cooking, bathing, clothes-washing, etc.

(9) Tell the fire department to screw off. Notify your local fire department that if your house catches on fire, you do not want them to come. They're socialists, after all. You'd rather have your children die a horrible death.

(10) Tell the police to screw off, too! Notify your local police department that you don't need their help if anyone steals your stuff, or tries to kill you or anything like that. In fact, you'll kill them if they try. You've warned them politely... this time!

Wish I'd Said That is a series of posts where I re-publish reader comments to stories around the Internet that I wish I'd made myself.