For all his faults, my ex was an awesome cook. He could whip up a pie crust from scratch in minutes; simmer an asparagus soup to die for; or spend all day preparing an elaborate Tikka Masala for an incredible dinner party.
When the food is good, you eat more. The irony is that he always reminded me to watch my weight — I was never over 180 lbs which is where I am now — but he'd keep making high-fat, high-calorie meals and wouldn't accept eating anything less in the house. Hmmmm, keep 'im fat so I have something to bitch about.
Lesson: Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut your head off. Want to drop 150 lbs of ugly fat? Get a divorce! Rimshot.
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Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Low Cal Diet Tip #7: Don't Date A Good Cook
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4 comments:
Bitter and Jaded - Party of two. Bitter and Jaded: Party of two - your table is ready. LOL
Mmm, hmmm. Just make sure you seat me in the dieting section, please!
Every now and again, I get a dig in. Honestly, though, I could probably write something nasty everyday and never run out of material! I have 4 years of it to pull from, so I think I do a pretty good job not going off on very many rants. At least in this one I gave him his due, even if it was a backhanded compliment. :)
What would life be without stories about the demeaning neurotic ex? I try to give mine as little air play as possible. Even though we live in the same city, I have managed to go 2 years without clapping eyes on him.
I'm a good cook, but have been losing lately, no one to cook for!
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