I allowed myself to curse in last Thursday's post since I had finally passed a kidney stone and gave myself permission to express my feelings freely. Well, I'm giving myself another pass after passing another fucking rock. Why the fuck can't these things be diamonds? For all the trouble they put me through I wish they were worth something. I could be like the goose that laid the golden eggs — I'd be the blue-eyed homo that passed the sparkling diamonds!
Here's a pic of this son of a bitch. As I did last time, I included a dime, a (different) grain of uncooked instant rice on the top, the stone in the middle, and a (different) Rice Krispie on the bottom.
This stone's birth size: 6mm L x 4mm W x 2mm H. For comparison, the birth size of Wednesday's stone was 6mm L x 5mm W x 3mm H.
There was no pain or bleeding today. The discomfort came in a different area. As I've explained, the pain usually comes from a stone blocking the ureter that runs from the kidney to the bladder. Today I knew I was going to pass one as I had an irregular stream when peeing...like there was something blocking the way. So I pulled out my good friend the strainer! A man's urethra (that carries urine from the bladder to the outside) has a sphincter muscle at the base of his hoo hoo dilly. That's the muscle we use when we have to pee but need to "hold it". Even in its relaxed state, the sphincter is the narrowest diameter of the urethra and stones can get caught behind it. Thanks to wikipedia "urethra" for the illustration.
I don't know if my three months of torture was caused by Wednesday's stone or yesterday's. I suspect the earlier since it was larger. One of them came from the right side due to the location of the pain the past 3 months...but is that where they both came from? In a previous post about health care and insurance, I said there wasn't much doctors could do except tell me to ride it out, so I didn't see anyone. I suppose if I had and they'd done a CT scan, I would know where they were in the urinary tract and on what side. I'd also know if I have any more — even though I'm sure I do. This isn't the first time I've been to the rodeo. I think in this case, ignorance is bliss. Otherwise I'd be more paranoid than usual about them.
And now for another rant. This makes two in a week!
I don't talk much about my ex since I want to take the high road and, if I trash him, someone who might be interested in me would be wary that if I talked shit about the ex I might talk shit about them. Anyway, since I'm giving myself new permissions...
Lesson #1: How You Know You're In A Shitty Relationship
When your partner, who is supposed to love and support you, is inconvenienced when you are passing a kidney stone, you might just be in a shitty relationship. Writhing around on the floor in pain produces not an ounce of care and/or sympathy. All he can muster is, "Let me know if it gets bad enough and I'll take you to the hospital," and then goes and sticks his nose in the computer. I know, my culpability is that I stayed.
You see, he had advanced AIDS, and as far as he was concerned, it was too bad I was sick but he was sicker. That's right. No sympathy because he was and always would be sicker than me. Being sick became like a competition that I could never win. Despite overwhelming evidence that kidney stones are an excruciating experience, that mattered not.
While I took care of him with cancer, night sweats, flu, shitting the bed with diarrhea on lots of nights, and I think a fair dose of dementia, etc., my severe pain wasn't worthy of special care from my partner. It is for this reason I would be wary of getting into a relationship with someone who's HIV status was not the same as mine.
And on that note, I shout at my ex, "FUCK YOU!"
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
I get a large number of hits from Google searches on "Kidney Stone", "Lithotripsy", and other related terms. In an effort to make this subject easier to navigate on this blog, I am adding the following list of posts to every kidney stone entry to make them cross reference accessible.
If you are reading this because you have, or think you have, a kidney stone, I know your pain. Unless you've had one, and I've had some mild incidences and some really bad ones, no one can even imagine the level of pain.
Make an immediate appointment with an urologist. I am not a doctor and these are my experiences only!
You could be experiencing a kidney stone, but it may also be a urinary tract infection, a tumor, or other medical condition. Don't take any chances with your health!
These posts involve my passing of two giant 6mm stones this summer...three days apart! Wrapped in these posts are stories that detail my lifelong battle with them.
In the interest of clarity, these links are in temporal order.
First Signs Of A Stone May 7, 2007I wish you well.
What I Know About Kidney Stones May 8, 2007
A Discussion Of Lithotripsy May 9, 2007
Peeing Blood, No Pain May 11, 2007
Pain Returns May 18, 2007
Pain Again In The Back May 26, 2007
Bloody Urine Is Back July 12, 2007
Passed Kidney Stone #1 July 26, 2007
Passed Kidney Stone #2 July 30, 2007